What a Mutant Day!
by ZANNE
Summary: A story about a day in the life of our favorite X-Men! What REALLY goes on at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. Chapter 2: Enter Scott Summers. And Rogue and Pasqual (Kitty) are at it again! Oh those crazy kids....
1. Kitty is one crazy mofo

Hello again! It's ZANNE! But I'm sure you already knew THAT! Ha ha ha! This is my new story. But I'm sure you already knew that too! Ha ha ha! Anyway, this story is about each student and what their days are like! Each chapter is a different person! Isn't that fun? What I'm trying to do is let you see them from a different perspective and get an in depth look on their lives! But you probably already knew THAT! But I'm having fun writing this anyway! I've written a new disclaimer song! Do you wanna hear it? Of COURSE you do! It goes to the tune of "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee"  
  
X-Men, X-Men Evolution  
Is not owned by ZANNE, oh no  
She is just a lowly child  
With no license  
To speak of  
  
When a new  
Episode comes out  
ZANNE doesn't know what it's about  
  
That's cause she has no say in it  
If you haven't figured out!  
  
Wasn't that just lovely? So on with the pathetic fanfiction! The first chapter is about Kitty! MEOW!  
  
And before I start, I want to thank Golden-Tuna for hearing my yak about this story's plot at around 1 o'clock in the morning and helping me work out the finer details! ________________________________________________________________  
  
"Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep," said Kitty's evil alarm clock.  
  
Kitty opened her eyes and looked over at it and noticed that it said 6:30 AM.  
  
"Awww." she moaned as she turned over. But she noticed something weird as she moved. HER ARM WASN'T MOVING! (1)  
  
"AAAHHHHH NOOOOO!" screamed Kitty as she tried to move her dead arm.  
  
She jumped out of bed and started to swing it around like a windmill.  
  
"Like Rogue! Wake up! I have a dead arm! HELP!!!" she yelled as she ran over to the pile of blankets that the Institute had become to acknowledge as "The Rogue".  
  
"OUCH! Who attacking meh?" yelled Rogue as Kitty's dead arm hit her on the noggin.  
  
"My arm! I can't move it!" she yelled, "Oh wait." Kitty said as she started to move her arm again, "Never mind. It's all better now!"  
  
And with that, Kitty grabbed her clothes and toiletries and ran through the door to go take a nice hot shower.  
  
So after her nice hot shower adventures, Kitty put her hair in a ponytail, put on her evil pink sweater and Birkenstocks, and went downstairs to eat breakfast.  
  
When she got to the kitchen she found, to her displeasure, that there was BACON on the table!  
  
"Like, totally EWWW!" she said to the many people with bacon on their plates, "How can you eat that when it was once alive and breathing??!"  
  
"Well... it isn't anymore! So you have nothing to worry about!" said Evan.  
  
"SIGH!" Kitty sighed as she went into the fridge to look for something to eat that wasn't once alive and breathing.  
  
In the end, she just ate tofu with maple syrup on it! YUMMY!  
  
As everyone was leaving for school, Kitty ran after Scott so she could get a ride in his magic sports car that changed from a 2 seater to a 4 seater with the snap of your fingers!  
  
"Like wait for me!" she yelled as Scott and Jean were getting in.  
  
"Uh oh, she's gonna want to drive!" said Scott as he got all scared like.  
  
"Go Scott, GO!" yelled Jean. And since Scott an obedient dork wad, he did what Jean said and began to drive out of the little garage as fast as he could.  
  
"Whoah!" screamed Kitty as his car drove right through her.  
  
"Awww. now how am I going to get to school?" But at that very moment, Dorian walked by. (In case you have cauliflower for brains, or just haven't seen the 2 episodes he's in yet, Dorian is the little greenish boy with no eyebrows that can turn off all power around him. Just thought y'all should know! I wouldn't want to leave people in the dark thinking that he's my OC or something!)  
  
"EWWW!" Kitty screamed and then ran away so fast that she was at Bayville High in no time flat!  
  
"Aww shucks!" said Dorian.  
  
So anyway, Kitty arrived at school with time to spare! Then she spied her little friends hanging out in the middle of the hallway who all coincidentally had ponytails too!  
  
"Like hey guys!" said Kitty as she approached them.  
  
"Hey Kitty!" the all said at the same time.  
  
"Hey youz guys, did you totally see the new mutant footage on the news last night?" asked one random girl who was wearing too much makeup.  
  
"Like yeah!" said another girl, "There was one that looked just like you Kitty!"  
  
"Me? A mutant? HA! You're so wack!" said Kitty.  
  
"Wiggidy wack?" the girl asked.  
  
"No, the regular kind."  
  
"Aww."  
  
"I like totally got to go. Homeroom starts soon and if I were to be late the results would be catastrophic!" Kitty said as she ran towards her homeroom.  
  
The rest of the school day went something like this:  
  
See Spot run  
Spot runs fast  
Run Spot, RUN!  
  
And there you have it!  
  
"I'm like totally glad that I have no homework!" Kitty said to Kurt as they walked down the large steps in front of Bayville High.  
  
"Yeah? Well I have to read Shakespeare!" Kurt said, "And since English isn't my first language, I can barely understand it!'  
  
"Oh Kurt, you're so wack!" Kitty told him.  
  
"Wiggidy wack?" he asked.  
  
"No, the regular kind."  
  
"Oh," he said looking a little disappointed, "Well, I'm going to port home and leave you here!"  
  
And with that, Kurt teleported away and left Kitty there. The smoke from his teleport got in her eyes and she tripped and fell down the steps.  
  
"Grrrr. Now how am I going to get home?" growled scraped, disheveled Kitty.  
  
Just then, Dorian walked by.  
  
"EWWW!" Kitty screamed as she ran away so fast that she was back at the Institute in no time flat!  
  
"Sigh!" sighed Dorian.  
  
Kitty decided that today was as good as any other day to win the heart of her man, KURT! But there was an obstacle standing in her way. An obstacle wearing ugly red pants.. And that obstacle was Amanda!  
  
Amanda just happened to be at the Institute that day to visit Kurt, so Kitty decided to make her move...  
  
Amanda was just standing all alone in the hallway for no good reason, in those ugly red pants, with her hair all over her shoulders.  
  
"You no good red pants wearing whore!" yelled Kitty as she jumped out from behind the large vase where she had been hiding. "Leave this place now, and denounce your love for Kurt!"  
  
"Never!" Amanda screamed oh so passionately.  
  
"Then I challenge you to a duel!" yelled Kitty.  
  
"I accept your challenge!"  
  
Just then, a huge duel monsters arena thing came up out of the floor and Kitty and Amanda both hopped onto the high pedestals where the players stand.  
  
"For my first move, I summon the Celtic Guardian!" yelled Kitty as she slammed the card down dramatically on the board.  
  
"Then I shall play this card face down.." said Amanda connivingly.  
  
This went on for many a minute until finally, they only had only 500 life points each.  
  
"Now I shall end this once and for all Yugi. I mean Kitty!" Amanda yelled as she pulled out a card from her hand. "I call upon the Blue Eyes White Dragon!"  
  
She then threw that card down on the board and began to laugh uncontrollably.  
  
"Not just yet Amanda," said Kitty, "For while you have been so keen on getting your Blue Eyes White Dragon onto the field, I have been putting together the cards I need to finally defeat you! I summon Exodia the forbidden one!"  
  
"What?" gasped Amanda, "No! It's impossible!"  
  
"And now I bid you adieu" said Kitty, "Exodia Obliterate!"  
  
And with that, Exodia obliterated Amanda's precious Blue Eyes White Dragon!  
  
"NNOOOOO!!!" screamed Amanda as she grabbed the sides of her head and started pulling on her hair, "MY BLUE EYES!"  
  
"And now I shall banish you to the Shadow Realm!" yelled Kitty.  
  
"AAAHHHHHH!" screamed Amanda as she fell into the eternal darkness that is the Shadow Realm.  
  
"Well! Glad that's out of the way!" said Kitty as she dusted off her hands and the battle arena disappeared.  
  
Just then, Kurt walked down the hallway.  
  
"Hey Kitty. Have you seen Amanda?" he asked.  
  
"Uh.. no! I think she left. Forever!"  
  
"Oh. Maybe I'll go find Tabitha," he said as he walked away.  
  
"NNOOOOO!!!!" she yelled. So she went outside to mope.  
  
When she went into the Institute's large backyard, she found Evan doing his crazy skateboard tricks on the little cement half pipe that he built all by himself!  
  
"Hey Evan," said Kitty as she sat down on a little bench.  
  
"Hey K girl! What up dawg?" Evan said really, really deeply.  
  
"How dare you call me a dog you stupid bleach blond pig!" screamed Kitty.  
  
The she ran over to where he was on the bottom of the half pipe and phased him through it so only his body from the shoulders up wasn't stuck.  
  
"Take that you knave!" she yelled as she stomped away.  
  
"Dag yo!" said Evan.  
  
Far away, in the Brotherhood house, said Brotherhood were all sitting around watching 7th Heaven when all of a sudden, Pietro stood up and looked around.  
  
"What's up Pietro?" asked Freddy.  
  
"My Evan senses are tingling! Gotta go!"  
  
And with that, he ran super fast out the door and all the way to the Institute.  
  
"Well well well! What do we have here?" Pietro said as he saw the trapped Evan.  
  
"Ugh. Go away Pietro! I don't need your help!"  
  
"Help? Oh don't worry, I'm not going to help!" said Pietro.  
  
So Pietro began to jump up and down on the top of Evan's head.  
  
MEAN WHILE!  
  
Kitty had gone up to her room to listen to her Kidz Bop CD.  
  
As she was about to put it in the big stereo system that the Professor had put in her room for no reason, Rogue came in.  
  
"I hate the world and all who walk its brightly lit crust!" she said as she lay down on her bed and fell asleep.  
  
Since she didn't want to wake up The Rogue, she decided not to play her terrible annoying music. Instead, she decided to give Rogue a makeover.  
  
So she got out her make up kit with the kittens on it. But before she could give Rogue that proper makeover, she had to clean off her evil goth makeup first.  
  
Kitty ran into the bathroom, found some cold cream, and put a huge pile all over Rogue's face.  
  
She then got off all of Rogue's evil makeup and put on some light blue eye shadow that extended to her eyebrows, gave her loads of mascara until she had major spider eyes, and to make it complete, she put orange lip stick on her top lip and dark pink lipstick on her bottom lip! (2) Then just for good measure she drew some hearts and flowers on her cheeks and gave her one of those painted on smiles so even if she frowned, it looked like a smile!  
  
Through all this, Kitty was careful NOT to touch Rogue's skin at all and miraculously Rogue didn't wake up!  
  
"SUCCESS!" yelled Kitty as she ran out of the room.  
  
"Stupid world." grumbled Rogue as she got out of bed and walked out the door.  
  
Kitty was walking down the hallway minding her own business when she ran right into Dorian.  
  
"EWWW!" she screamed as she phased through the floor.  
  
"Sigh! Nobody loves Dorian!" sighed Dorian.  
  
"I'll be your friend!"  
  
Dorian turned around and low and behold saw non other than Jamie!  
  
"Uh no thanks. You're a loser and besides, you try WAY too hard!" said Dorian as he walked away.  
  
"Awww," said Jamie as he wiped away a tear. Then he clapped and made a clone of himself.  
  
"FRIEND!" he yelled as he hugged it.  
  
"But it's just not the same!" he sighed as his clone ran away to play with someone else who wasn't a loser. Seeing this, Jamie sighed some more. "Even my own clone doesn't want to be my friend!"  
  
MEAN WHILE!  
  
Kitty had phased through the ceiling and fell right on top of Professor Xavier, knocking him right out of his wheelchair!  
  
"Like oops!" Kitty said, "Sorry Professor!"  
  
She then started to help him back up into his chair. But just then, she saw Tabitha walking the other way. A terrible hatred burned inside of her and compelled her to follow her and destroy her by any means necessary. So she just left the Professor lying face down on the lovely burgundy rug.  
  
Scott was also taking a stroll down the hall and when he turned the corner he was shocked to see his frail old Professor on the rug.  
  
"NNOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Scott as he ran toward him. "PROFESSOR!!"  
  
"Stop screaming Scott! Unless you plan to use the sound waves from your stupid voice to put me back in my wheel chair!" the Professor tried to say, but sadly his witty remark was too muffled by the carpet to make out the words.  
  
"Are you hurt?" Scott asked as he picked him up and cradled him in his arms, "Are your nipples still brown?" (3)  
  
"Just put me back in my chair and leave me!" said the Professor, "Go make out with Jean or something!"  
  
"Why that's a great idea!" exclaimed Scott as he placed the Professor gently back into his wheel chair, "Where do you get them all?"  
  
"Ideamart. Now leave now or else I shall smite you with my awesome mind!"  
  
"You got it Prof.!" said Scott as he frolicked down the hallway.  
  
"SIGH!" sighed Professor, "Now where was I? Ah yes! The Mercury Lighthouse!" He then pulled out his Game Boy Advance and resumed his game.  
  
MEAN WHILE!  
  
Kitty was following Tabitha as stealthily as she could. All she needed was to pick the right moment to pounce and...  
  
"HIYA!" screamed Kitty as she jumped up behind Tabitha and pinned her to the ground.  
  
"AHHH!" yelled Tabitha. But then she began to glow and changed into a Super Saiyan! She then threw Kitty off her back using her crazy energy stuff.  
  
"Oh so THAT'S how you wanna play!" said Kitty as she too transformed into her Super Saiyan self. "Let's do this thang!"  
  
Tabitha crouched down and prepared to do a barrage of really fast punches and kicks but Kitty was just too quick for her.  
  
"Ka may ha may HA!" screamed Kitty as she blasted Tabitha far far away with her awesome blue wave of ka may ha may ha.  
  
"And so it begins.." said Kitty as she put her fingers together in a Mr. Burns fashion.  
  
"SUPPER TIME!" yelled Storm as she rang a big triangle.  
  
So Kitty decided that her plans could wait until after dinner and went to join everyone else in the dining room.  
  
As soon as everyone sat down, Storm came in carrying a huge plate that had a whole roast pig on it!  
  
"Like EWWW! That's totally icksome!" Kitty said as Storm set it down on the table with a loud bang.  
  
The pig was on a huge bed of lettuce and it even had an apple stuffed in its mouth!  
  
"Oh that's right! You're a vegetarian Kitty! Sorry about that." said Storm as she poured herself some water.  
  
"You can't be picky unit of measurement used mostly for milk," (4) said Logan as he stuck out his claws and cut off the pig's snout, "In WW2 I had to eat a whole family of possums and I didn't complain once!" He then took a bite of said snout.  
  
"Don't worry Kitty!" said Kurt, "You can still eat the apple. And the lettuce too!"  
  
".ugh." said Kitty as she took a piece of lettuce off the plate and took a bite.  
  
"AHH! There's pig juice on this!" she choked and fell off her chair.  
  
"Danger danger!" yelled Logan as he jumped across the table to save Kitty.  
  
So he gave Kitty the Heimlich maneuver and the evil piggy lettuce was unlodged from her throat. HUZZAH!  
  
"Wait a sec. My Sabertooth senses are tingling! HHOOOOWWWLL!" screamed Logan as he ran out the door and got onto his motorcycle and sped off into the night.  
  
"Okay.. May I like please be excused?" asked Kitty from under the table.  
  
"NO! None can leave until this marvelous pig feast has been devoured!" yelled the Professor as he began to eat the giant pig drumstick.  
  
"Sigh!" sighed Kitty as she secretly phased through the floor and walls into the kitchen.  
  
She opened the refrigerator and took out the jar of pickles. But as she tried to open said jar the lid revealed itself to be thoughrally stuck.  
  
"Damn you Kosher Dills!" she yelled as she struggled to open the jar.  
  
But then she remembered that she had the power to phase! So that's exactly what she did. She phased her hand through the jar and pulled out a delicious pickle!  
  
"SUCCESS!" she screamed and then ran up to her room to eat it in private.  
  
When she finally reached her room, she could hear Logan's motorcycle come back from whatever brief mission he had decided to go on.  
  
As she closed the door and turned on the lights, she saw that she was not alone. Rogue was sitting on her bed reading Edgar Allen Poe. She still had the makeup on her face.  
  
"Oh, Rogue! I thought you were at dinner," said Kitty.  
  
"That's just what they want you to think!" Rogue said with a twitching eye.  
  
"What who wants me to think?"  
  
"The world!!!" screamed Rogue, "They all want me to succumb to its horrible doom and randomness! Are you gonna eat that pickle?"  
  
"Yes!" Kitty yelled as she cradled her pickle in her arms protectively and phased through the wall.  
  
"Ahhh. Finally!" she said as she devoured her precious pickle.  
  
Just then Dorian came walking down the hallway  
  
"EWWW!" screamed Kitty and she then phased through the floor AGAIN!  
  
This left poor Dorian all alone again.  
  
"Sigh!"  
  
"FRIEND!" yelled Jamie as he came running down the hall with his arms outstretched.  
  
"Keep away from me you freak!" yelled Dorian as he ran in the opposite direction.  
  
When Kitty phased through the ceiling, she fell right into the bowl of ice cream Jean and Scott were eating and collapsed the table.  
  
"Like great!" exclaimed Kitty as she got off the floor and tried to pick a walnut out of her hair, "Now I need a shower!  
  
So Kitty took another shower. HUZZAH! No more dirty Kitty.  
  
Now that Kitty was all squeaky clean, she decided to find Kurt and make her next move..  
  
She found him in the game room, but he was not alone. He was sitting on the couch KISSING JEAN!  
  
"And like just WHAT is going on here?!" yelled Kitty.  
  
Hearing Kitty's yell, Scott just had to come investigate. He didn't want any one to be hurt!  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked Kitty as Kurt teleported away in the knick of time!  
  
"Like NOTHING Scott. Go back to your knitting." Kitty told him.  
  
So Scott simply shrugged his shoulders and picked up his needles again.  
  
"Thanks Kitty....." said Jean, "Now what am I going to do?" she sighed and looked around, "Have you seen Evan?"  
  
"I think he's outside," said Kitty as she walked away to find her love.  
  
So Jean went outside and found Evan stuck in the half pipe.  
  
He had a big sign hanging around his neck saying "I love men" and he had a big P with a lightening bolt tattooed to his forehead. His hair was also died black and the little annoying strip on the bottom of his head was shaved off.  
  
"THANK GOD!" he sighed as he saw Jean, "Quick, get me out of herrr!"  
  
"Just kiss me you hunk of man meat you!" and with that Jean bent over and began to kiss him.  
  
MEAN WHILE!  
  
Kitty was walking down the hallway AGAIN looking for Kurt when she passed the huge room that the whole Institute was sitting in for some reason. Except Evan and Jean of course. THEY were outside.  
  
And in the midst of everything, Rogue was sitting in the middle, still wearing the makeup and a huge scowl. She had no idea why everyone was laughing at her because she hadn't looked in a mirror yet.  
  
"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" she boomed, "Is there something funny about The Rogue?"  
  
"Yeah," said Bobby the snickerpuss from his perch on Sam's shoulders, "Look in a mirror!"  
  
So Rogue headed the horse boy's words and looked in the Mirror of Erised that was sitting in the room for some reason.  
  
"I see the whole world on fire and everyone in it bowing down to my awesome might! I also see Mystique in a cage," Rogue said with a twisted smile.  
  
"Oh wait, wrong mirror!" said Bobby as he pulled a small compact out of Sam's hair and handed it to Rogue.  
  
Rogue opened it and her eyes grew wide and then the mirror caught fire.  
  
"YOU!" she screamed as she pointed dramatically at Kitty, "YOU DID THIS TO THE ROGUE! NOW YOU MUST DIE!"  
  
Kitty shrank into a corner as sparks flew out of Rogue's eyes.  
  
"I challenge you to battle!" yelled Rogue.  
  
"I accept your challenge!" Kitty yelled back as she stood up again.  
  
"One pokemon each!"  
  
So everyone in the room backed away leaving a big space between Kitty and Rogue.  
  
"Pidgey, GO!" yelled Kitty as she threw the pokeball and Pidgey popped out.  
  
"Charizard, I CHOOSE YOU!" screamed Rogue as Charizard popped out of its pokeball.  
  
"eeep!" said Kitty.  
  
"Charizard, FLAME THROWER ATTACK!"  
  
"SQUUUUIIIM!" said Pidgey as he was burnt to a crisp!  
  
"NO!" Kitty screamed as she rushed over to Pidgey's charred remains, "Pidgey!"  
  
"MWA HA HAAAA!" laughed Rogue as she called Charizard back into its pokeball, "That's shall teach you to never mess with The Rogue!" and on that note, Rogue walked out of the room.  
  
"What a bee-yatch!" said Kitty as she swept up Pidgey and dumped him in the trash, "Now where'd he go?" she asked herself as she looked around for Kurt. But he was gone, GONE!  
  
So she went out of the room to look for him. On her way, she saw Evan standing in the foyer stuck in a big block of cement as Jean tried to chizzle it off.  
  
"OUCH!" he cried, "Jean, that was my special area!"  
  
"Oh, I forgot!" Jean said suddenly as she dropped the chizzle, "I don't like you!"  
  
Jean then walked away and left Evan standing there like a fool child, which he was!  
  
So Evan spiked himself up and all the cement fell off. Then fell into a gaping black hole and was never seen again! HUZZAH!  
  
"Freak!" mumbled Kitty as she walked up the stairs. She then came to another hall way, the mansion was full of them you know, and met Danielle.  
  
"Hiya Kitty!" she said.  
  
"Oh, hi Danielle," Kitty said, "Have you seen Kurt?"  
  
"I have something to tell you," Danielle started, "Kitty, I'm not real!" and then she faded away.  
  
"NNOOOO!!!!!" Kitty screamed as the hallway got all green and the walls started to drip.  
  
She ran to the end of the hall and turned. There she saw Logan on a big ladder with a tool box banging at the pipes in the wall.  
  
"Mr. Logan?" she asked.  
  
"Oh, it's you unit of measurement used mostly for milk," he said as he tightened a bolt with his wrench, "There's a leak in this here pipe! That damn Sabertooth was messing with the plumbing again!"  
  
"Oh," said Kitty, "I'm just going to go over here now..." and with that she ran towards Kurt's room and went through the door.  
  
"KURT!" she yelled.  
  
"WAH!" Kurt yelled as he fell from the chandelier and hit the floor with a thump.  
  
"Oh my stars! Are you hurt?" Kitty said as she rushed over to his side.  
  
"No," he said as he stood up, "I'm perfectly fine! I've built up an immunity to that! What do you want?"  
  
"I want YOU!" she screamed as she put he arms around his neck, "Take me now!"  
  
"Sorry Kitty, but the number of fanfictions that have been written about us has reached its limit," he said as he gently pushed her away, "If anymore are written then the world as we know it would cease to exist!"  
  
"YIPPEE!" yelled Rogue from the next room, "Kiss her you moron!"  
  
Kurt just shook his head and continued, "Like I said, Kurtty is used WAY to much and ZANNE only writes original fics! Why don't you go after uh... Beast or Blob?"  
  
"NNOOOOO!!!!" Kitty screamed as she threw her hand into the air, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!!"  
  
Then she phased through the door and out into the hall again just as Dorian was walking by with Jamie clinging to his leg.  
  
"They want original? I'll show them ORIGINAL!" so Kitty grabbed Dorian and gave him a long passionate kiss.  
  
"SHAZAM!" yelled Dorian when she finally pulled away.  
  
"EWWW!" Kitty screamed as she phased through the ceiling.  
  
"Damnit!" Dorian shouted to the Heavens, "When will I find true love?"  
  
"JAMIE LOVES YOU!" Jamie said. Then he hit himself on the head and a bunch of other Jamies appeared.  
  
"Dorian is Jamie's friend!" the clones all said in unison as they grabbed hold of Dorian and pinned him to the ground.  
  
MEAN WHILE!  
  
"Jean!" Scott yelled as he looked around, "I've got something for you!"  
  
"A present?" asked Jean as she popped up out of nowhere.  
  
"Yes! I made it just for you!" Scott said proudly as he held up a very poorly made red sweater.  
  
"Oh it's just lovely!" she exclaimed as she took it from him and held it up to her chest, "I shall name him Cornwallis and we shall be together forever!"  
  
Jean grabbed Scott's hand and together they frolicked away to find a field full of wild flowers to lie in.  
  
"SEE?" yelled Kitty, for she had been watching these happenings from behind the large vase, "THEY can have love! Why can't I have love?"  
  
She was so sad that she pulled her hair out of its pony tail and stomped on the little hair tie with the balls on it. Then, she went upstairs and invaded Rogue's closet. She found the darkest thing she could and put it on. She then took off her make up and loaded her face up with dark makeup. Then she died her hair black.  
  
"I shall no longer be called Kitty!" Kitty yelled as she put her hands on her hips, "I shall now be called Pasqual! The queen of darkness! The duchess of doom! The princess of dimly lit places!"  
  
Then Rogue started to clap. Kitty turned around startled because she hadn't noticed Rogue sitting there on the bed.  
  
"Bravo Pasqual!" Rogue said, "You have just reached Rogue status. Come and sulk with me!"  
  
So Pasqual and The Rogue both sat on the bed and sulked like there was no tomorrow!  
  
MEAN WHILE!  
  
Jamie and his little possie had bound and gagged Dorian and were now dragging him down the hall.  
  
"You've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me.." Jamie sang as Dorian struggled to break free of his bondage.  
  
"If I can't have you NOBODY CAN!" Jamie yelled connivingly. Then he opened a closet and shoved Dorian in.  
  
"See you tomorrow buddy!" Jamie said through the door.  
  
So Jamie found a friend, Scott and Jean frolicked in the flowers, Kitty and Rogue bonded, and Kurt was a free man.  
  
And all was right with the world!  
  
THE END ( ________________________________________________________________  
  
Have you ever woken up in the morning and you know that you've slept on your arm? Well, you arm gets numb for awhile and you can't move it. It's really freaky. I don't know what that is called, so I affectionately dubbed it "dead arm".  
  
Kitty's top and bottom lip are 2 different colors. That really bugs me!  
  
In "Ascension" parts 1 and 2, the Prof's shirt is ripped and we can see his chest. His nipples were really dark brown and it reminded me of that guy in "Kung Pow."  
  
Logan always calls Kitty "Half Pint". Why? Half a pint is a unit of measurement used mostly for milk! I made him say it politically correct.  
  
I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter! OK, so it wasn't ALL about Kitty..  
Why don't you write your own if you don't think mine's good enough?  
Whatever. The next chapter shall be all about Scott! So stay tuned and  
visit my site! 


	2. I'll be in Scottland before yee

OK, screw the shoutouts. I'm not in the mood. IT'S SNOWING!!!!! Alright, so this chap is about Scott. Sorry it's been so long. What with winter track and ZANNE'S laziness, there has been not a minute to spare! So here it goes. Hope you like it!  
  
Oh YEAH! I almost forgot the disclaimer! Silly ZANNE! This is the disclaimer haiku!  
  
X-Men Evolu-  
tion is a cartoon that ZANNE  
does not own oh woe  
  
Wasn't that fun? Ok, here it is.  
  
Hee hee. This has been sitting in my documents folder for about 4 months. That's why it says it's snowing. I was under the impression that I would have it finished and updated that day, but I was sadly mistaken. ________________________________________________________________  
  
"Helloooooo Bayville!!!! It's 7:00AM and time for all the dorks who actually use a radio as and alarm clock to get their asses out of bed!" said Scott's radio clock thing that Jean bought him for Christmas.  
  
"Yes sir!" Scott yelled as he jumped out of bed letting his sheets fly into the air and land perfectly on the bed. He grabbed his special red shades and put them on his face. Then he looked at his nicely made bed and threw a quarter on it. But the quarter DIDN'T BOUNCE!!!!  
  
"NNNNOOOOO!!!!!" Scott screamed. All of his hope and dreams! All gone in one toss of a coin!  
  
After a solid 8 minutes of un-suppressible weeping, Scott finally realized that he was going to be late if he didn't get over it. So that's just what Scott did.  
  
He walked over to his closet, made shifty eyes (even though you can't tell with his shades on) and yanked opened the door quickly closing it behind him.  
  
Once he was inside, he pulled aside a curtain to reveal that he had a very large closet. Behind that curtain was a large wooden statue that was covered in SWEATERS! Every kind of sweater was there! He had mohair, wool, cotton, even a small one made from Jean's hair!  
  
"Oh great sweater god," Scott chanted as he bowed down, "Please grant me the strength to defeat all my enemies and grant us a good harvest. Amen."  
  
He then kissed the statue's feet and grabbed his normal sweater and then went back to his room. He got dressed very quickly and went down to breakfast. Even though he didn't take a shower or fix his hair and probably smells funky.  
  
"Good morning friends!" he said to all the people as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"I am not your friend!" Pasqual (Kitty) growled, "I have no friends!" Then Pasqual bit into her bacon and meatball on toast sandwich.  
  
"Okayyy?! And just in case you didn't know, bacon and meatballs are made of meat," Scott said.  
  
"Grrrrr....." growled Paqual.  
  
"Scott!!!" yelled Jean as she ran over and was just about to kiss him when he moved.  
  
"Oh! Pancakes!" he squealed.  
  
"Oh! Jean!" he squealed again, "The sweetest syrup in the world is your love, and the creamiest butter is your lovely voice. THE FRUITIEST MARMALADE IS YOUR-"  
  
"I don't know why, but all of a sudden I'm starving." said the Professor as he wheeled in to the kitchen.  
  
"Has anyone seen Amanda?" Kurt asked as he walked into the kitchen with the phone in his hand, "Her parents just called and said that they hadn't seen her since she came over here yesterday."  
  
"gurglue gurgle," drooled Pasqual (Kitty) as a stream of slobber ran down the side of her face.  
  
"Hmm....." Kurt made a confused face and put the phone back to his ear, "No she isn't here and.... Wait a minute. Didn't you forbid her to see me ever again because I am blue and freakish looking?...... Cancer? WHAT? Oh, you mean the astrology sign.... Yeah, I'm a Libra..... So that's the reason she couldn't see me? We weren't compatible? Well that makes sense.... Well, if I ever see her again which is highly unlikely because her red pants make me go temporarily blind, I'll call you." Click.  
  
"What odd people." Kurt said as he sat down nest to Pasqual (Kitty) and helped himself to some bacon while Pasqual (Kitty) bared her fangs and growled.  
  
Can I stop typing (Kitty) after every time I type Pasqual? Did you read the first chapter? Can you do this by yourself? Are you sure? I can't hold your hand for the rest of your life you know. OK.  
  
Back to Scott.  
  
Scott and Jean stared dreamily into each other's eyes. Well, Scott stared into Jean's eyes and Jean stared at her reflection off of Scott's sunglasses. But then Jean noticed something. Something terrible. JEAN HAD A PIMPLE!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHYYYYYEEEEEEEE!!!!" Jean screamed and ran out of the kitchen.  
  
"My darling! What ails you?" Scott called after her as he followed her.  
  
"Jean's such a drama queen." Rogue said in a surprisingly naisily voice, "I do declare that she is a prep and I want no contact with her whatsoever. Come Pasqual, let's burn some insence."  
  
Rogue and Pasqual got up and went to their rooms, while they were there, they congratulated themselves for the success of their voodoo magic that cause Jean to spout a pimple even though she used Stridex pads thrice a day.  
  
While all of these events were occurring, little Dorian was still ties to a chair in the hallway closet. He was very hungry and was quite distressed when Jamie forgot about him and tried to get Bobby/Sam to play video games with him.  
  
"It's the story of my life," Dorian sighed through his loose fitting gag, "Nobody loves me."  
  
Dorian was then magiced out of his bindings and there was a great flash of light.  
  
"DORIAN LEECH!" boomed the all powerful, omnipresent voice of ZANNE, "YOU HAVE BEEN RELEASED OF YOUR RESTRAINTS AND NOW YOU ARE FREE TO GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. ON ONE CONDITION: YOU MUST WEAR THIS!"  
  
Suddenly, Dorian is magiced into a yellow shirt with a thick black zig zag stripe on the bottom and black shorts, along with brown shoes.  
  
"NOW GO AND ENTERTAIN ZANNE WITH YOUR CHARLIE BROWNISH ANTICS!" And on that note, ZANNE'S omnipresent voice faded away as ZANNE returned to her palace made of vanilla wafers and pixie sticks.  
  
"Why can't my life be normal?" Dorian sighed as he opened the door to the closet and walked out.  
  
Wasn't this story supposed to be about Scott? Well, Jean was sobbing in the bathroom and Scott was leaning against the door, torn up by Jean's pain because of that strong random bond they had acquired out of nowhere.  
  
"Jean my sweet apple pie," Scott soothed through the door, "Isn't there anything I can do to ease your pain?"  
  
"WWWWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" was Jean's reply.  
  
"Sorry, didn't quite catch that."  
  
"WWWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"Oh, and after that then what?'  
  
"WWWWAHAHGGGGGHHHHHHWWWAAAA!!!"  
  
"OK, I'll do it. But it is my responsibility to be an example to the other students and therefore I must go to school." Scott's brow furrowed in decision, "But I can't just leave you here all alone! WHAT IS SCOTT TO DO!"  
  
Scott ran around in circles trying to think and instead found himself in the front seat of his sports car that magically turns from a convertible in to a 4 seater and then found himself driving Kurt, Evan, Rogue, and Paqual to Bayville High.  
  
"One thing I will never understand," said Evan, "is how I somehow left the Morloks, convinced them to move above ground and live in an apartment where they are no doubt having sitcom worthy escapades, and controlled my bone powers in the span of 5 days."  
  
"Ah the mysteries of life," Kurt said as he stuck his head out the window and stuck out his tong.  
  
"KURT!" Scott yelled as he saw this in the rear view mirror, "Bring your head back in this instant! We don't want to blow our cover!"  
  
"Oh lighten up, Scott!" Kurt protested, "It's not like sticking my head out the window is a mutant only quality and besides, everyone knows who we are anyway!"  
  
"Well, let's just not draw attention to ourselves OK?"  
  
"Whatever man, you are seriously cramping my grill!"  
  
"I'm serious, Kurt! You're never serious! I'm always the one who was to keep you inline!"  
  
"THAT'S IT! I'm blowing this popsicle stand!"  
  
And Kurt teleported away. Somewhere between Scott's popsicle stand and Kurt's grill, Rogue, Evan, and Paqual had tuned them out and where playing frustration rumy when they reached school.  
  
"Mutants are bad!"  
  
"Go back to your drainage pipe you freaks!"  
  
"Nobody loves you!" (1)  
  
These were the normal everyday gab that reached the X-Men's ears as they trudges down the halls of Bayvile High.  
  
"I wish I didn't have to go to school man, this is so wak!" Evan said as he frowned at the kids making the most hurtful comments, "I wish I would just stay home and skate all day."  
  
And Evan dissolved into nothingness, half because of the space time continuum and half because he is a whiny prik and ZANNE is bored with writing about him.  
  
"That was..... odd." Scott commented to nobody because Rogue and Pasqual were in the girl's bathroom smoking a pack of cigars.  
  
"SIGH!" Scott sighed with and almighty sigh that made even Zeus, the thunder god, sigh.  
  
"I sure wish Jean was here."  
  
"What's matter Summers? Can't stand to live without your freak girlfriend?"  
  
Scott turned around to face his arch rival, Duncan Matthews, in all his blond hair with a sidepart S curl and black eyebrowed glory.  
  
"Want I should help you to the nurse's office so you can sob into a pillow?" Duncan asked Scott in a baby voice while his henchmen chuckled.  
  
"Maybe you could just move out of my way so I can get to class Dunc!" Scott snarled.  
  
"OOhhh! Nice comeback hot stuff! Wouldn't want to be late to homeroom now would we?"  
  
No sooner had the words left Duncan's mouth, that the bell sounded in the hall signaling the beginning of homeroom.  
  
Scott's eyes were wide and filling with tears. He had never, EVER been late to a class before! This was worse then that time he had to jump out of a flaming airplane while his parents were left to die on board!  
  
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Scott screamed as he fell down to his knees clutching his head in his hands.  
  
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" he repeated.  
  
Duncan and his henchman looked at Scott and ran away before he could regain himself and bite them or something. That boy was plum CRAZY!  
  
So Scott wept in the hall until he was half blind and only regained his composure when screams were heard from the chemistry room.  
  
A de-inducered blue Kurt came running out of the classroom and down the hall, followed by a mob of teens who were holding Bunsen burners and scalpels and shouting angrily.  
  
Scott sighed and Kurt teleported away and blah blah blah it was a miracle that nobody discovered his identity blah blah blah Scott got a late and brooded blah blah blah ZANNE'S fingers are tired from typing blah blah blah and the bell rang signaling the end of the school day.  
  
"Wow," Scott said as he looked up at the clock, "That was fast."  
  
When Scott got home he ran up the stairs and to Jean's room to find her under Kurt's big brown frump coat.  
  
"What is it Jean?" Scott whispered.  
  
"Oh Scott! I just don't know what to do!" Jean cried from under the hood.  
  
She lifter it and Scott threw up all over the rug. Jean's whole face was covered in red, bubbling pimples! And her hair was really frizzy too!  
  
"MY POOR JEANYPOO!" Scott sobbed as he got out a mop and a bucket and started to clean up his mess.  
  
"HEY!" yelled Kurt from the hallway, "Be quiet! Ich bin trying to concentrate!"  
  
Kurt was busy in the hallway trying to put a purple band aid on ZANNE'S finger from where she cut it on wire mesh in sculpture class.  
  
While Jean was crying and Scott was barfing, Rogue and Pasqual were cackling evily from atop the wardrobe that stood in the corner of Jean's room. They both jumped down silently like ghosts and fled the scene unnoticed.  
  
Meanwhile, Dorian and Rahne were on the beach looking at the waves. Dorian reached for a rock and threw it into the ocean and watched as it skipped over the smooth surface of the blue, cool water.  
  
Rahne turned to him with a scowl on her face and said, "Nice going, Dorian! It took that rock 10 thousand years to get to shore and YOU threw it back!"  
  
"Everything I do makes me feel guilty," sighed Dorian.  
  
"HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!" ZANNE gasps breathlessly as she struggles to sit up again in her golden jeweled throne, "I LOVE THAT LINE!"  
  
Back to Scott and Jean.  
  
Well, Scott and Jean ordered the Vanessa William's clean face formula thingy and Jean hid in a corner. A shadowy corner. Kurt' shadowy corner. So Kurt kicked her out and he crouched there like the angsty gargoyle he is and Jean was forced to hide behind the large vase in the hall.  
  
"If it weren't for all those beautiful skinny models I would have so much more self esteem!" Jena cried as she burst into tears again.  
  
Jean walked back to her room and looked in the mirror. She decided that there was only one thing left to do. Jean smashed the mirror and picked up a shard of glass. She held it to her neck and with one last "I wish I was Pamela Anderson" she slit her throat and died.  
  
Scott came into her room the moment after she died and screamed in horror and the blood and the Jean and threw up yet again. He sobbed onto her body for a whole three hours before anybody realized that Scott and Jean hadn't been to dinner.  
  
The whole Institute tracked up to Jean's room and were horrified with the sight that they beheld! OH THE SIGHT THAT THEY BEHELD!  
  
But suddenly, there was a flash of fiery light from Jean's body and they were all blinded by the brightness. When the spots cleared form their vision, they saw Jean hovering above the ground surrounded by fire. Scott whipped the tears from his eyes and looked up at his love to see that her hideous acne was GONE!  
  
Jean lowered herself to the floor and in a mighty voice she bellowed, "I AM THE ALL POWERFUL PHOENIX!" So Scott and Jean made out inside the orange fire glow and everyone went back to eat dinner.  
  
"Oh my sweet pumpkin pie!" Scott screamed, "I thought that I had lost you!"  
  
"Yeah, well...." Jean's orange glow stopped and she sat down on her bed, "It worked in the comics right? Now I'll probably kill 5 billion people on other planets but at least my acne's gone!"  
  
"That's my Jean!" Scott chuckled as they both laughed and ZANNE'S fingers finally cramped up.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Somebody actually said this in 'Mainstream'! In the beginning when Kitty and Kurt stop the kids in the masks who spray painted their wall, they yell back as they run away and one of them said, 'Nobody loves you!' Now I personally think that that was a little out of line....  
  
So.... it took ZANNE long enough to get this chapter up! And after typing 6 pages without stopping I think I deserve a trophy. Though I won't be able to pick it up when my arthritis kick in! ANGST! I have been obsessively reading stories here on ff.net lately and I remembered this story. If you didn't read the first chapter with Kitty in it you might have been confused at the whole Paqual thing. That's what you get for not reading it! So there! Anywho, sorry again about the wait and I hope that my 7 reviews on this story increase a little. NOBODY LOVES ZANNE! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slit my wrists right here right now! Oh yeah, I'm going on vacation. Oh well, another day ZANNE, another day..... 


End file.
